The Reluctant Prospector

Thanks to everyone who attended last Thursday's SWS teleseminar show 'specially for introverts about Socializing Without Fear or Discomfort!

If you are naturally socially-inclined, you may think that going out into the world with a smile and a hearty hello for everyone you find there is an easy, natural thing to do! But for those of us who aren't quite as socially comfortable, who enjoy time with ourselves far more than time spent in a crowd, who become frazzled and exhausted after too much social interaction - we sometimes feel inadequate, inferior or even fatally-flawed because we aren't interested in being the life of the party.

Not that we introverts need to apologize for our personalities - not at all! Nor should we try to "overcome" our more-reserved nature so we can be more like our extroverted colleagues. No, we're pretty awesome just the way we are, even if we do struggle sometimes in social situations. Hey, nobody's perfect.

Back to the show... my guest, Susan Haughton and I shared our personal tips for getting out in the world and inspiring the people we find there to like us, trust us and eventually care that we sell real estate for a living, using strategies that won't make a typical introvert feel like a schmuck. At the end of the show, I asked the audience to share their favorite tips, I compiled them all, and here are the Top Four!

Favorit-est Tip #1: Go to lunch with two friends every week. By "friends," I mean people you enjoy hanging out with, not just people you know. If you're dreading a lunch date because you have no idea what you'll talk about with this person, they aren't a good lunch date candidate for you. But if you go to lunch with two friends a week, every week, that's more than 100 times you connected with people you enjoy being with and who probably enjoy being with you, too.

Favorit-est Tip #1a: - Don't feel you need to always pick up the tab when you go to lunch. You're going to lunch with a FRIEND, not a prospect, and if they want to pay, let them! You can return the favor next time (so make sure there IS a next time). Don't create uncomfortable drama at the end of the meal by fighting over the check. You can pay, or they can pay or you can split it. It's a friendly lunch, not a business lunch.

Favorit-est Tip #2 (Thank you Susan!): If you have season tickets to local events and you can't always use them, start calling your friends and acquaintances offering to give them away. You'll probably "have" to go through several names before you find someone who will take you up on your offer, which is a wonderful way to organically connect! If your marketing budget allows, you might even buy tickets to popular events with the sole intention of giving them away in this manner.

Favorit-est Tip #3: When attending a party (which is not typically an introvert's favorite thing to do), ask the host for a job or task that you can be responsible for during the party. Help bartend, serve snacks, take photos; anything so that you aren't standing in the corner by yourself feeling as if everyone is looking at you. Also, related to party-attending, come armed with an exit strategy, if for no other reason than to comfort yourself that you CAN leave if you aren't having fun.

Favorit-est Tip #4: Walk your dog! Dogs are wonderful ice-breakers for introverts. If your dog is particularly cute (or particularly ugly!), just taking him or her out in public can start up all sorts of conversations. And don't forget that other peoples' cute or ugly dogs can be conversation-starters for you. If you don't have a dog, but consider yourself a dog person, offer to walk a friend's - not only will you be out there starting up conversations, but you'll be impressing your friend with how helpful you are!

Honorable Mentions

• Don't pretend to be an extrovert if you aren't - it'll just make everyone (you included) uncomfortable.
• Be a Master of Your Market. Being conversationally familiar with your local market gives you all sorts of things to talk about when socializing.
• Leave your business cards at home when out and about so you aren't tempted to push them on everyone you meet. If someone wants your contact information, take theirs and promise to get back with them.
• Stay IN your comfort zone when socializing. If large parties make you nervous, avoid them, and host your own intimate dinner or casual afternoon BBQ with a small group of friends.

Here is a wonderful article called "Caring for Your Introvert" - if you ARE an introvert, you'll recognize yourself here... if you know an introvert, they'll much appreciate your taking the time to better understand them!

Check out the SWS Calendar of Events to see what's on tap through the rest of the year!

Live in the SWS Virtual Studio on Thursday!

Contrary to what you may have always believed, being an introvert is nothing to apologize for, overcome or make excuses for. No, not even if you're a real estate agent! In fact, around here, we believe that introverts actually make exceptional real estate agents, so if you lean toward the introverted side of the personality spectrum, you're among friends.

If you want to read more about why I think introverts are so special (aside from the fact that I AM one myself), just go here: www.TheReluctantProspector.com. Or check out my blog especially for introverts here: www.The-Reluctant-Prospector.com.

But as wonderful as I believe we are, there's one place we don't always shine. And that's in the social arena. Networking. Socializing. Partying. Making small-talk (ugh!). There's no place I'd rather NOT be than at a Chamber of Commerce after-hours cocktail party! If by some terrible mistake I find myself at such an event, I'm almost sure to be hiding in the corner, slinking as inconspicuously as possible toward the door.

However, the fact is, being a successful real estate agent requires a level of social interaction with the outside world. After all, PEOPLE buy and sell homes, so the more of those people who know us, like us and trust us, the more real estate we're likely to be hired to help buy and sell. And the best way for people to know us... so they can like us... and trust us... is to BE places where other people tend to be and to, yes, have conversations with them!

And you know what? Socializing doesn't have to be painful or scary, and it doesn't have to be expensive or time-consuming. It can actually be FUN (and profitable) as long as you stay true to your wonderful introverted self and don't put yourself in situations where you'll be uncomfortable (or when you do, have an exit strategy!).

That's what we're going to talk about at the next SWS Teleseminar show. I'll have Susan Haughton with me who happens to be an introvert as well, and we'll both share our tips for socially staying connected with the people we already know, and for meeting new people to inspire to support our real estate businesses.

Even if you aren't sure you're an introvert, you might want to attend, if for no other reason than to better understand the introverts in your own life. And you never know - you might decide that you, too, have a bit of a wonderful introvert in you! 

Sound like fun? If so, please mark your calendar and join us on November 17th!

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THE DETAILS
Date: Thursday, November 17th, 2011
Time: 8:00am Pacific / 9:00am Mountain / 10:00am Central / 11:00am Eastern (Please show up a little early to get settled in.) 
Duration: 60 - 75 minutes
Equipment Needed: A computer with a high-speed connection and speakers or a telephone.
Cost: Free, but you must register, below. 

Register For the Show Here

Imagine the scene...

A real estate writer is sitting at the computer in her beach house (yeah, life's rough). Out of the corner of her eye, she sees movement outside her front door. It appears to be two adults, one carrying a clipboard. Uh, oh, she thinks. Not a good sign.

Her (four) dogs see them as well and of course, make their presence known, barking their heads off, jostling with each other for the best barking position at the shuttered glass door.

Their owner, who is positive she has not the slightest interest in whatever it is these people might be selling, scurries off into the bedroom where they can't see her and waits for the doorbell to ring.

It does not. And it does not some more. She waits a few more minutes, the dogs settle down and she gets the nerve to peer around the corner of the bedroom door to see if they've left. They have - she sees them walking down the street toward her neighbor's front door.

Why didn't they ring the bell? She has no way of knowing but she gives them the benefit of the doubt and assumes that they realized what an inconvenience it would be for her to get four barking dogs under control so she could safely answer the door and sigh - listen to their pitch.

And you know what? She was so impressed with their consideration that she briefly (okay, VERY briefly) thought about chasing them down to see what they were selling.

Contrast to a door-knocker who came by her house a few weeks ago selling carpet-cleaning machines. The dogs, predictably, went nutso when she opened the door - and one of the door-knockers was clearly afraid of them, so she felt compelled to apologize and chase them (the dogs!) around the yard trying to corral them in and quiet them down. This took about 10 minutes and the guys just stood there waiting for her to get her dogs under control so they could pitch to her.

Okay, so maybe her dogs should be better behaved; she accepts that. But door-knockers... when you walk up to a house and hear multiple dogs barking on the other side of the door, show a little consideration and walk away. There really isn't much chance the dog-owner on the other side of that door is going to welcome your visit.

Thank you.

"You Have to List to Last!"

Ever heard that before? Probably so - most real estate agents have heard this advice from their well-meaning mentors, trainers, gurus and associates. It simply means that if you don't have listings (that is, that you represent sellers), you won't succeed in your real estate career.

There are plenty of reasons industry pundits feel this way, and some of those reasons are absolutely valid. As a solo agent, you can probably handle far more active listings than active buyers. Listings have the potential to generate even more business, both from sellers who see your sign in their neighbors' yards and from buyers who call you to inquire about your listings. Listings give you something to advertise in print media or online. And there's just something about being a strong listing agent that feels more "mature" than being a strong buyer agent.

My feeling on the matter is that an ideal business model has agents working with both buyers and sellers, more or less equally. After all, the purchase transaction and sale transaction of a home are two sides of the same coin - you can't sell a home without a buyer and you can't buy a home without a seller, and the more you know about the other side of the transaction, the better you're able to advise and support your buyer or seller client.

But the fact is that not everyone is well-suited to be a listing agent! Yes, I said that out loud. Some agents will be far happier and therefore more successful working primarily with buyers and there's nothing in the world wrong with that!

This Thursday, May 5th, Jim Kimmons, the About.com real estate guru(!) and I will talk about the myth of Listing to Last and help you decide if working primarily with buyers might be a good fit for you, and we'll all learn more about Jim's own exclusive buyer broker business model in Taos, New Mexico.

Join us? 

THE DETAILS
Date: Thursday, May 5th, 2011
Time: 8:00am Pacific / 9:00am Mountain / 10:00am Central / 11:00am Eastern 
Duration: 60 - 90 minutes
Equipment Needed: A computer with a high-speed connection and speakers or a telephone
Cost: Free to attend live, but you must register, HERE.

If things go as planned, my next book will be released sometime in late April... so this week's show is a sneak preview of what's in that book and, frankly, a little pre-release marketing to boost pre-sales! (How's that for transparent?)

As the title implies, we're going to talk about choosing the right prospecting methods for you - or, as the subtitle of my book promises "Discovering the Perfect Prospecting Strategies for Wonderful, Extraordinary, One-of-a-Kind YOU."  Because you ARE wonderful, you ARE extraordinary and you ARE one-of-a-kind! And your approach to building your business should reflect that. 

Because you know what? You CAN choose which prospecting strategies you're going to implement - and which ones you'll reject. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks you should do, this is YOUR business and you can (and should) run it your way. In fact, you'll be far more successful, not to mention happier, if you figure out what works for you, what you enjoy doing and what you're good at. 

Sounds obvious, doesn't it? But so much of our training pushes just the opposite - that we need to do things we dread doing; things that embarrass us or make us uncomfortable if we're to have any hope of succeeding. 

BAH! 

Anyway, on March 31st, we're going to talk about this and much more, and I'll walk you thru some self-evaluation exercises to help you strategically figure out what prospecting methods are right for you at this stage of your life and career.

Join us?

THE DETAILS
Date: Thursday, March 31st, 2011
Time: 8:00am Pacific / 9:00am Mountain / 10:00am Central / 11:00am Eastern (try to show up a few minutes early to log in or dial in)
Duration: 60 - 75 minutes
Equipment Needed: A computer with a high-speed connection and speakers or a telephone
Cost: Free to attend live, but you must register below.

TO REGISTER FOR THE SHOW
www.SellwithSoul.com/perfect

The More People Who Know You, Like You and Trust You, the More Real Estate You Will Sell

Ever heard this sweet little ditty? Sure you have, or some version of it. Perhaps you've heard the version that goes "People buy from those they know, like and trust;" Bob Burg made this statement in Endless Referrals, and my good friend Dennis Giannetti refers to it as the "KLT" Principle.  

Neato Frito. We're probably all in agreement that the KLT Principle is true.

But let's say it again - out loud:

"The more people who know me and like me and trust me, the more real estate I will sell."

Again. "The more people who know me and like me and trust me, the more real estate I will sell."

One more time... "The more people who know me and like me and trust me, the more real estate I will sell."

Okay, let that settle for a minute and I'll get back to it. But allow me to digress first.

The other day I was talking with an agent whose office is going through a corporate-sponsored prospecting boot camp, complete with group cold-calling sessions and referral-begging contests.  She has chosen not to participate because these activities fall way outside her comfort zone; however, she admitted that the agents who are participating are experiencing some success; in fact, much more success than she has experienced in the last few months. Her associates have more listings than she does and appear to be working with more buyers than she is, so, while she's still not willing to participate in all the "fun," she's a little confused and frustrated.

We talked about it for awhile and both of us had the same aha! moment at precisely the same time. The agents who are participating in the boot camp, while using methods neither of us subscribe to, ARE getting their backsides out in the world, talking to people and keeping their activity levels high. Now, whether or not I agree with the tactics they're using (and from what I understand of them, I don't) isn't the point; the point is that her colleagues are DOING something to meet more people, while my agent friend, well, isn't, as she freely admits.

Okay, so back to the KLT Principle.

What are you doing to ensure that "more" people KNOW you? Anything? Or are you (like most of us!) resting on your existing database and quietly wondering why your business seems to stall so often?

Rest assured you DON'T have to do stuff you don't wanna do to meet people; you really don't! People are everywhere, not just sitting on the other end of a phone line waiting for your cold-call or even your warm-call; they aren't just visiting open houses on Sunday or responding to Craigslist ads or signing up for your IDX; they aren't just attending networking events or Chamber of Commerce gatherings. They're everywhere. Even places you'd enjoy being, too.

What can you do, within your comfort zone, to ensure that more of the world's people KNOW you? Without doing things you don't wanna do?

Ideas? Please share!

Next time, we'll chat about how many people LIKE you.

Funny - yesterday I posted a blog about getting contact information from open house visitors that ended with a "stay tuned for the next episode" teaser... and got slammed with "I'm doing an open house this weekend, please tell me what to do" notes.

Okay, okay, okay. I hope I didn't overpromise in the blog - I don't have any secret phrase or magic sign-in sheet that will ensure names, numbers and email addresses* from your visitors, but I'll give it a shot.

The question I left you with was "How can you INSPIRE open house visitors to WANT to give you their contact information?" Not how to manipulate it out of them, but rather get them to offer it to you because they want you to have it?

The answer is awfully simple.

You DO (or should) have something a bona-fide buyer wanna-be wants. Not market reports or newsletters or lovely gift baskets, but KNOWLEDGE.

You know more about the real estate market and the houses in it than they do. You know the current inventory. You know which houses are priced right and which ones, well, aren't. You know that homes built by THIS builder cost more than ones by THAT builder, and why (and whether they're worth the extra). If the neighborhood of your open house is out of the buyer wanna-be's price range, you know of alternative neighborhoods that might work for him. If your open house is On The Lake (and priced accordingly), you know how much of a break a buyer wanna-be can get to be Not On The Lake, But Close. If a buyer wanna-be really wants a big yard, you know where he can find that while staying close enough to town to suit him.

When I say that you know all these things, I don't mean that you have a handy-dandy printout next to your personal brochure and sign-in sheet describing other houses for sale. Nor do I mean that you've memorized your MLS and can spout off DOM's and PSF's and List-to-Sold Ratios with abandon.

I mean that you have a conversational familiarity with your local real estate market. And you're more than willing to share your knowledge and expertise with anyone who is interested.

Which leads me to the next point. Not everyone who comes to an open house is a good prospect for you. In fact, most probably aren't, for reasons you're already aware of. Just let ‘em go. Don't be rude, of course, but don't fret about getting their digits or demonstrating your expertise to them. Just let them wander thru, politely and pleasantly answer their questions, and relax. You may leave your open house with only one or two folks to follow-up with and that's okay. It's perfectly fine to cherry-pick your future clients, selecting only those with whom you have a natural rapport, who seem to be open to hearing from you again.

Here's the thing. For me (and many of y'all), trying to create rapport with every warm body who walks in the door is exhausting. And discouraging. I'm just not all that charming, and frankly, not everyone wants to be chatted with even if I were. In fact, most probably don't. By the end of the open house, if I've tried to build rapport with everyone who came in, I'm an emotional mess, especially since many of them have probably rejected my advances (I don't handle rejection well). But if I save my emotional energy for those with whom I "click," I CAN be awfully darn charming!

So, what's the punch line?

1.       Be conversationally familiar with the neighborhood, amenities and alternatives to the neighborhood of the house you're holding open and be willing to freely share your knowledge with visitors, and

2.       Save your emotional energy for the visitors with whom you feel a natural rapport. Be pleasant and polite to everyone else, but don't stress yourself out trying to get contact information from them.

If you've done a good job preparing for your open house and you choose your targets wisely, you'll be pleasantly surprised to find that many visitors will initiate further contact with you. Either they'll offer up their contact information voluntarily or they'll ask for yours.

If this isn't happening, it's not because you aren't aggressive enough, clever enough or sly enough to coerce those names and numbers from your visitors. So if you want to beat yourself up over the "effectiveness" of your open houses, don't go there. Focus instead on how you can better demonstrate to your visitors that you are the guy or gal they're looking for.

*None of this should be construed to contradict my opinion that open houses are held primarily for the SELLER's benefit, not the agent's. The owner of the home you're holding open expects you to be first and foremost trying to sell his home, not hungrily prospecting for leads for yourself. To read a practical implication of this philosophy, refer to Susan Haughton's comment on the previous blog

A few months ago, I had a conversation with a newer agent about maximizing the effectiveness of her open houses. By "effectiveness," of course, she meant gathering as many names, numbers and email addresses as she could during her three-hour stints on Sunday afternoons.

She was frustrated (mostly with herself) at her inability to smoothly gather those names, numbers and email addresses from her visitors. Either they seemed hesitant to provide them OR she just wasn't comfortable asking, and usually came away from her open houses empty-handed.

"Jennifer - do you have any suggestions for me?"

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. 

But first, let's have a paradigm shift, shall we? Too often, we real estate agents focus on what WE need and want, and hope to persuade our audience to play along. For example, WE want that name, number and email address so WE can send a nice little thank-you-for-visiting note and add a warm body to our mailing list, right?  

So we come up with all sorts of sly strategies to get that contact information - such as - "the seller asks that guests sign in for security purposes," or "if you register, you'll be entered to win a lovely gift basket," or simply "please sign my register so I can show the seller how many visitors we had."

Nothing really wrong with these approaches except that there's nothing in it for the visitor. At least, nothing worth relinquishing their private contact information to a hungry Realtor, suspecting they'll be hounded after the fact whether they want to be or not.

So, what could you do instead - here's the kicker - to INSPIRE the visitor to want you to have his or her contact information? Not what you can do to TRICK it out of him, but to actually inspire him to want to give it to you?

And no, the answer isn't to bribe him with free reports, contests, drawings or newsletters...

Any ideas? I'll share mine tomorrow...

Ho hum, yet another spammer on Active Rain posted a silly comment on an old blog promoting her essay writing service or some other nonsense. Yeah, like I (or my readers) am/are going to rush right out and hire her because she posted an obviously inappropriate comment on a two-year-old blog.

I have to wonder who comes up with this stuff. Is there a professional association out there teaching their members to promote themselves using stupid internet tricks? Are there books and magazines and newsletters on the subject? And if so, who signs up to be a professional spammer? What sort of person thinks this is a cool way to make a living? Do they look forward to getting up in the morning and going to work? Did they always dream of being a spammer when they grew up?

Who ARE these people?

Actually, who cares? They don't care about us, so why should we care about them?

Which leads me to cold-callers.

The cold-callers in the world aren't all that different from internet spammers, and frankly, I find myself asking similar questions about them, especially the real estate cold-callers. The most bewildering question (for me) is why someone gets into the wonderful world of real estate if all they care about is high-volume prospecting. Aren't there easier ways to make a living that would put their tough skin and admittedly admirable persistence to good use? Careers that don't carry any ethical duty or legal liability beyond getting that contact or sale?

I got into real estate because I love the process of managing a real estate transaction. Not because I always dreamed of getting up every morning and pounding the pavement (or the phone lines) hunting for business.

<Shrug>

I guess I'll just have to continue to Not Get It.

Had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine the other day. I was telling him about my recent Go-Giver Chronicles and interactions with Bob Burg (co-author of The Go-Giver). My friend mentioned that his first real estate agent helped him find a rental house when he moved to the area, free of charge. Just helped him. No compensation, no contracts, no obligation. Just helpful help.

So, my friend continued, when it came time for him to purchase a home in the area, he called up the agent and hired him to be his buyer agent. His point was that because the agent cheerfully gave of his time in the beginning, he ended up with my friend's business when he had business to give.

I was curious who the agent was; if I knew him or had heard of him, so I asked for the guy's name.

My friend pondered the question. Couldn't come up with a name. John, maybe? He said he'd recognize it if he saw it or heard it, but, darnit, just couldn't remember it right now.

<wheels spin in JA's head>

Obviously, my friend hadn't heard from that agent lately. I asked if he'd ever heard from the agent after the sale and he didn't think he had. That's not surprising... "they" say that the vast majority of agents do a lousy job of staying in touch after a closing and I'm certain that's true.

So, I continued questioning interrogating my friend. I asked if he had heard from the agent, say, two or three times a year for the last five years, would he have been able to recall his name?

He pondered again and said, yes, he would be able to recall the agent's name if he'd heard from him two or three times a year since the sale. But, he said: "Even once a year would have done it." 

So, I asked "What if he'd been in touch every month?" My friend groaned... "That would have annoyed me to the point of not wanting to remember him!"

We moved onto a different real estate-related topic that you'll see rambled about here in a few days, but this conversation validated one of my long-held suspicions about our industry... or rather... one of the industries who SELLS to our industry.

I'll continue this soon... but any thoughts on where I'm going with this?